The times they are a changin'

What if when the times change -- you don't want to change with them.

It is natural, isn't it.

But my resistance is only internal. In fact, it is only a part of my internal.  Schisms of who I want to be. Of who I am able to be.  Of who I actually am.

I need to remember I am a child of God.  A New Creature.

The Toll Winter in Chanhassen

Somethings require. 

This winter is my first of retirement years. My tasks in life have opened and filled many cracks in my calendar. I am really happy that there are still some places that are open for resting and frittering and thinking. I am going to put some blogging in there too. Lucky everyone (drips with irony).

So on January 26, 2016, I am looking at the gray skies and track-filled snow in our backyard, and thinking about how to be a good scout about the next couple months. The days are getting longer. That's a happy thought. The first long stretch of taxing sub-zero days has passed us by without much damage. This requires my mind's eye to look to hopeful images of green and colorful and accept that I must wait. 

These remaining 60+ days until temperate days of growing and blooming and comfort outside, require I wear bulky clothes on my bulky frame. They have me just a few steps from my kitchen, and from the oven that makes yummy grain-filled delights. They require foreign fruits and veggies...ripened in transport and containing whatever chemicals required for beauty in Minnesota grocery produce coolers. I am dreaming and planting in my mind my two rows of straw bale gardens -- and the community garden spot I was given.  I miss my morning wanderings through our little town...stopping for a cool down at the library with a quick periodical perusal. I look forward to little trips around Rice Marsh and along Lake Susan's shore.  That's the part of retirement I love.  Books, and birds, and paths and plants growing from starts to blooms to fruit. Sigh.  This requires patience.

I look forward to lots of steps on my Garmin, and restful reads poolside on mornings at Lifetime.  A workout, a large ice tea, and an hour by the pool.  Enough said. This requires my current workout system of fleece and layers and wet shoes and dry shoes...of repeated playlists on the incline of the treadmill...of podcast after podcast...well, those happen outside too, I must admit.

The requirements of spring and summer are sunscreen and hats and sun goggles, garden tools in the dirty backpack... and water bottles... fairness requires this list, but I like all those requirements.  

Required patience.  

sigh.  Toll paid.

The Radical Question/A Radical Idea

Are you looking for the perfect graduation gift book?  This little book (which contains two essays) will encourage the graduate to think deeply, think differently, think with kingdom thoughts taking the dominant position in your mind. In less than 100 small pages, you actually receive two books.

In the first part, David Platt has provided the basis of his worldview.  He asks the basic question,  "What is Jesus worth to you?"  Suggesting that if you live out a life that values Christ, you will choose to leave everything this earth offers, and follow Him. We are not challenged enough to actually live out that belief -- and by doing so, give up the wood, hay and stubble of this existence.  We have all been given so much, Platt asks us if we are willing to give it up.

The second part in this volume is about how we live out our mission in the community of believers. He suggests that we might consider thinking less about the beauty of  the bricks and mortar church; less about the bells and whistles of our worship events; less about the programs offered to meet our needs to focus on the lost and unbelieving people who Jesus called us to disciple. He looks at the meaning of discipling people. 

Now that is a book provides two very valuable thoughts to ponder.  I would suggest it as a boost to your own mission. I will give it as a valuable and accessible gift to young people I know.  This will cause you to ponder how you are living out your life as a Disciple of Christ -- called to make more disciples.

"Can Do!" Nostalgic Remembrances:10 THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY AT WORK

Below is a great article by someone in a professional organization to which I belong -- how refreshing would it be if all in the workplace behaved as this list directs:

10 THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY AT WORK

May 3, 2013 by Shelley Riseden

From Paralegal Alliance

While everyone knows that you should not say certain things at work, or to your boss, I have

overheard all of the following things, which should never be said at work, being said at work by

paralegals and other legal staff. Legal professionals are supposed to have excellent

communication skills, knowing how to use words and language that are clear and concise.

Therefore, saying any of the following things at work can make you appear unprofessional,

unmotivated, and as if you have a poor attitude.

1. That’s not my job. No matter how long or detailed it is, no job description is 100%

complete, and there will always be something that needs done, that you have never done before,

or that it is not generally your job to do. If your boss or a co-worker asks you to do something,

even if it not your job, just do it. No one wants to work with someone who cannot take the added

responsibility of one more task, and certainly, no one wants that person working for them.

Besides, whatever your boss asks you to do is your job. Instead of thinking, that’s not my job,

think, I am always open to learning something new. Your employer will appreciate that you can

handle anything that comes along; even it is not your job to handle it.

2. I don’t know. While it is okay to not know something, when you are asked you a question

that you do not know the answer to, you should not say, “I don’t know”, but instead, “I will find

out”. You should then go and find out. Employers like proactive employees who can find the

answer, not ones who say they do not know, and forget about it, or that have to be told to go find

out when asked a question they do not already know the answer to. Remember, your boss is

asking you a question because he or she needs the answer to it, not because they wish to quiz you

or test your knowledge in any way. You do not need to know everything, but as a paralegal, you

should be willing and able to find out.

3. I don’t know how. If you are asked to do something at work that you do not know how to

do, ask someone to show you, find an instructional video online, call a friend, or figure it out

some other way, but never say, “I don’t know how”. Your boss is not interested in what you do

not know how to do, only in you doing whatever he or she asks you to do. It is okay to need to be

taught to do something or to have to figure it out; it is not okay to shirk the responsibility of

doing something your boss needs done by saying, “I don’t know how.”

4. That’s not how I’ve always done it. It does not matter to your employer how you have

always done something or how you did it somewhere else; how your current boss wants you to

do it today is all that matters. If you have a better way of doing something, by all means, speak

up, but when being shown how to do something, do not comment about how you have done it in

the past or when you worked for someone else.

5. It’s not my problem. If there is a problem at work, it is your problem. As a paralegal,

your job is to do everything the attorney does not have time to do, or that would be fiscally

irresponsible for the attorney do to him or herself. This includes taking responsibility for any

problems that arise. Remember, if it is a problem for your boss, or could cause him or her

problems, it is your problem. Instead of viewing problems as someone else’s, think about how

they might impact the firm as a whole, and then take on the responsibility of solving the firm’s

problems, in order to ensure that they do not become your problem.

6. I don’t know why he/she hasn’t called you back. Telling a client, court personnel, or

opposing counsel that you gave the attorney their message and do not know why he or she has

not returned their call is unprofessional and tantamount to throwing your boss under the bus.

Even if the attorney should have returned a call months ago, never say that you do not know why

they have not. The best thing to say to a caller, who has left a message and is following up, is

that you are sure that your boss received the previous message and will get with them as soon as

he or she is able. You may also want to ensure them that you will let your boss know they called

to follow up on the message.

7. I’m too busy. The work in a law office or legal department has to get done, whether you

are busy or not. “Let me see where I can work that into my schedule” is a much better response

than “I’m too busy”. It conveys the fact that you are very busy, so that your boss will know that

you are hard at work, while not sounding as if you are refusing to do the additional work he or

she wants you to do.

8. I’ll try. Never say that you will ‘try’ to do anything. If you are unsure if you can complete

a task, let your boss know that you have some concerns about it, but that you will do your best,

and ask questions as you go, if needed. Saying you will ‘try’ sounds as if you are already looking

for an excuse to not complete the task. Imagine if your boss told you that he or she would ‘try’ to

pay you next week. You may not want to come into work if your boss only going to ‘try’ to pay

you.

9. I can’t. There is nothing that a good paralegal cannot do; there are only things that he or

she has never done before, may need help doing, or may not do well. Never say that you can’t do

something you are asked to do. If you need to look online or call someone to figure out how, do

it. If you need help with the task, ask for it. If you are not sure how to get started, ask your boss

or a co-worker for suggestions. Whatever you have to do to figure how to do everything your

boss asks you to do, do it. An employee who is frequently unable to complete tasks is at risk for

losing his or her job.

10. I don’t have anything to do. Even in a small law office with a laid-back atmosphere, there

is always something to do. If you have completed all of the tasks in your inbox, ask your boss or

a co-worker if there anything you can help them with, or consider cleaning out client files,

organizing a filing cabinet, sending out invoices, running maintenance on your computer, or

updating the firm’s forms and templates. Whatever you do, do not tell your boss that you don’t

have anything to do.

Lessons on provision and our faithful God have abounded lately. They do baffle me though. Not the faithfulness of our God, really.  He does, indeed, do what He says he will do.  Supply our needs. Sustain us when we aren't getting what we think we need. Surprise us with things we couldn't even think of.  No, that is par for the course, as they say.  He operates that way in our world. Indeed, this week He has again astounded me with his kindness to my children.  With how I have been given too much.  With the joy of giving.  With the joy of seeing His kingdom work accomplished, despite this world's most diligent efforts to be thwarted.  God not mocked brings chills down my spine. God's extravagant, and all we need to do is look.

My baffle results from who I am.  My life is surrendered.  My self-awareness is that I am utterly flawed and constantly asking Him to provide the ability to stay surrendered.  Would that I could say utterly surrendered, but no, I am only surrendered. I read a devotional last week had me begging forgiveness again for the "brutal truth" that I often ignore God. How do I do that when He indeed gives exceeding, abundantly more than I can ask and think? How can I just keep asking and not stop to see that which has been given?  Why is my gratitude so thin and my requisition so enormous?

Egads, I need to go do some more begging forgiveness again now.  What a brutal truth.

The Reality of Floating

I am on an innertube.   I am floating.  There is a current.

I have been riding it for over 20 years.  Now there is a breeze.  In fact, it is a pretty stiff breeze from the west.  Of is from the east? When it lulls, the current takes me.  When it is blowing, I take a  new direction.   The weather has been spotty these last few years.   But now, there is a storm a brewin'.

Out of control?   No.

I know He who calms the storms.

It's about being 51.

Tommy made it home from Wheaton, and is spending Labor Day Weekend in Minneapolis.   A fun change of plans.   I love spontaneity!

So, spontaneously, I'm gonna try to play golf with him.  First time to hit the links in 2 years.  Amazing.  Hip, knee, and now my "flicking" incident in July crippling my hand.  How can golf be such a physical challenge?  I mean really, I usually have to defend it as a sport.   But last time I attempted to play, it became clear that it  matters how all your body part parts are working to swing a club.   Sigh.  Almost 51 will require some Advil Liquigel, and rest following.  Going to give it the ol' college try at least.  Looking forward to it!

Isn't that just it?   We can still do, but the recovery is the issue.

Homecomings Stir

I've achieved a new stage. As has become typical in this life, albeit resisted and wrestled with before I'll admit it, I am embracing the changes.

The piles of shoes and rapidly emptying cupboards and fridge attest to the return of my children for the summer. Laughter and loud music bounce down the hall to me at all hours. It is not just the sour economy that increases the food budget these days. Items that it took months for me to not impulse buy at the grocery, are once again scrawled on the refrigerator's magnet pad. The dishwasher is full in two days -- instead of every 2 weeks!

Surprisingly, the return of the collegiates has once again stirred the nostalgic in me. I do not truly wish to return to the days of delightfully homebound childrearing, but with great fondness I recollect. I praise God for His provision that allowed me to share so many moments unrecorded by word or photos with the kids. The warm sofa time with the newly wakened nappers. Incessent kitchen duty washing plasticware and sponging up spills. Richard Scarry, A.A. Milne, Beatrix Potter and Seuss. I loved my travels to Busytown, Pooh Corner and MacGregor's garden. Glitter painted shoes and Osh-Kosh overalls. Nursery school programs and sparky shoes running around a soccer field --chasing lawn moths instead of watching the game. Privately owned moments of motherhood that resonate only in my own soul.

Then we let the kids out into the world for four hours in kindergarten, and the private moments begin to dwindle.

Meet Bono talking about Faith in Jesus Christ

http://www.thepoachedegg.net/the-poached-egg/2010/09/bono-interview-grace-over-karma.html

BONO INTERVIEW: GRACE OVER KARMA

Bono Interview: Grace Over Karma

(Excerpt from the book Bono: In Conversation with Michka Assayas)

Bono: My understanding of the Scriptures has been made simple by the person of Christ. Christ teaches that God is love. What does that mean? What it means for me: a study of the life of Christ. Love here describes itself as a child born in straw poverty, the most vulnerable situation of all, without honor. I don't let my religious world get too complicated. I just kind of go: Well, I think I know what God is. God is love, and as much as I respond [sighs] in allowing myself to be transformed by that love and acting in that love, that's my religion. Where things get complicated for me, is when I try to live this love. Now that's not so easy.

Assayas: What about the God of the Old Testament? He wasn't so "peace and love"?

Bono: There's nothing hippie about my picture of Christ. The Gospels paint a picture of a very demanding, sometimes divisive love, but love it is. I accept the Old Testament as more of an action movie: blood, car chases, evacuations, a lot of special effects, seas dividing, mass murder, adultery. The children of God are running amok, wayward. Maybe that's why they're so relatable. But the way we would see it, those of us who are trying to figure out our Christian conundrum, is that the God of the Old Testament is like the journey from stern father to friend. When you're a child, you need clear directions and some strict rules. But with Christ, we have access in a one-to-one relationship, for, as in the Old Testament, it was more one of worship and awe, a vertical relationship. The New Testament, on the other hand, we look across at a Jesus who looks familiar, horizontal. The combination is what makes the Cross.

Assayas: Speaking of bloody action movies, we were talking about South and Central America last time. The Jesuit priests arrived there with the gospel in one hand and a rifle in the other.

Bono: I know, I know. Religion can be the enemy of God. It's often what happens when God, like Elvis, has left the building. [laughs] A list of instructions where there was once conviction; dogma where once people just did it; a congregation led by a man where once they were led by the Holy Spirit. Discipline replacing discipleship. Why are you chuckling?

Assayas: I was wondering if you said all of that to the Pope the day you met him.

Bono: Let's not get too hard on the Holy Roman Church here. The Church has its problems, but the older I get, the more comfort I find there. The physical experience of being in a crowd of largely humble people, heads bowed, murmuring prayers, stories told in stained-glass windows

Assayas: So you won't be critical.

Bono: No, I can be critical, especially on the topic of contraception. But when I meet someone like Sister Benedicta and see her work with AIDS orphans in Addis Ababa, or Sister Ann doing the same in Malawi, or Father Jack Fenukan and his group Concern all over Africa, when I meet priests and nuns tending to the sick and the poor and giving up much easier lives to do so, I surrender a little easier.

Assayas: But you met the man himself. Was it a great experience?

Bono: [W]e all knew why we were there. The Pontiff was about to make an important statement about the inhumanity and injustice of poor countries spending so much of their national income paying back old loans to rich countries. Serious business. He was fighting hard against his Parkinson's. It was clearly an act of will for him to be there. I was oddly moved by his humility, and then by the incredible speech he made, even if it was in whispers. During the preamble, he seemed to be staring at me. I wondered. Was it the fact that I was wearing my blue fly-shades? So I took them off in case I was causing some offense. When I was introduced to him, he was still staring at them. He kept looking at them in my hand, so I offered them to him as a gift in return for the rosary he had just given me.

Assayas: Didn't he put them on?

Bono: Not only did he put them on, he smiled the wickedest grin you could ever imagine. He was a comedian. His sense of humor was completely intact. Flashbulbs popped, and I thought: "Wow! The Drop the Debt campaign will have the Pope in my glasses on the front page of every newspaper."

Assayas: I don't remember seeing that photograph anywhere, though.

Bono: Nor did we. It seems his courtiers did not have the same sense of humor. Fair enough. I guess they could see the T-shirts.

Later in the conversation:
Assayas: I think I am beginning to understand religion because I have started acting and thinking like a father. What do you make of that?

Bono: Yes, I think that's normal. It's a mind-blowing concept that the God who created the universe might be looking for company, a real relationship with people, but the thing that keeps me on my knees is the difference between Grace and Karma.

Assayas: I haven't heard you talk about that.

Bono: I really believe we've moved out of the realm of Karma into one of Grace.

Assayas: Well, that doesn't make it clearer for me.

Bono: You see, at the center of all religions is the idea of Karma. You know, what you put out comes back to you: an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, or in physics; in physical laws every action is met by an equal or an opposite one. It's clear to me that Karma is at the very heart of the universe. I'm absolutely sure of it. And yet, along comes this idea called Grace to upend all that "as you reap, so you will sow" stuff. Grace defies reason and logic. Love interrupts, if you like, the consequences of your actions, which in my case is very good news indeed, because I've done a lot of stupid stuff.

Assayas: I'd be interested to hear that.

Bono: That's between me and God. But I'd be in big trouble if Karma was going to finally be my judge. I'd be in deep s---. It doesn't excuse my mistakes, but I'm holding out for Grace. I'm holding out that Jesus took my sins onto the Cross, because I know who I am, and I hope I don't have to depend on my own religiosity.

Assayas: The Son of God who takes away the sins of the world. I wish I could believe in that.

Bono: But I love the idea of the Sacrificial Lamb. I love the idea that God says: Look, you cretins, there are certain results to the way we are, to selfishness, and there's a mortality as part of your very sinful nature, and, let's face it, you're not living a very good life, are you? There are consequences to actions. The point of the death of Christ is that Christ took on the sins of the world, so that what we put out did not come back to us, and that our sinful nature does not reap the obvious death. That's the point. It should keep us humbled . It's not our own good works that get us through the gates of heaven.

Assayas: That's a great idea, no denying it. Such great hope is wonderful, even though it's close to lunacy, in my view. Christ has his rank among the world's great thinkers. But Son of God, isn't that farfetched?

Bono: No, it's not farfetched to me. Look, the secular response to the Christ story always goes like this: he was a great prophet, obviously a very interesting guy, had a lot to say along the lines of other great prophets, be they Elijah, Muhammad, Buddha, or Confucius. But actually Christ doesn't allow you that. He doesn't let you off that hook. Christ says: No. I'm not saying I'm a teacher, don't call me teacher. I'm not saying I'm a prophet. I'm saying: "I'm the Messiah." I'm saying: "I am God incarnate." And people say: No, no, please, just be a prophet. A prophet, we can take. You're a bit eccentric. We've had John the Baptist eating locusts and wild honey, we can handle that. But don't mention the "M" word! Because, you know, we're gonna have to crucify you. And he goes: No, no. I know you're expecting me to come back with an army, and set you free from these creeps, but actually I am the Messiah. At this point, everyone starts staring at their shoes, and says: Oh, my God, he's gonna keep saying this. So what you're left with is: either Christ was who He said He was the Messiah or a complete nutcase. I mean, we're talking nutcase on the level of Charles Manson. This man was like some of the people we've been talking about earlier. This man was strapping himself to a bomb, and had "King of the Jews" on his head, and, as they were putting him up on the Cross, was going: OK, martyrdom, here we go. Bring on the pain! I can take it. I'm not joking here. The idea that the entire course of civilization for over half of the globe could have its fate changed and turned upside-down by a nutcase, for me, that's farfetched

Bono later says it all comes down to how we regard Jesus:

Bono: If only we could be a bit more like Him, the world would be transformed. When I look at the Cross of Christ, what I see up there is all my s--- and everybody else's. So I ask myself a question a lot of people have asked: Who is this man? And was He who He said He was, or was He just a religious nut? And there it is, and that's the question. And no one can talk you into it or out of it.

http://www.thepoachedegg.net/the-poached-egg/2010/09/bono-interview-grace-over-karma.html

Blizzards

Minnesota has endured quite the winter this year. That endurance includes a respite in February of about a week of above freezing temperatures. This weekend we received another 15 or so inches. White and pristine new snow is covering up the corny, blackened ice piles left beside the driveway and at the sides of roads.

I am reminded of how easy it is to cover up my sin with righteous searching and glorious insights found in scripture. How easy it is to ready my one year Bible, and devotional fare and not spend a minute in soul searching or sin confessing before our Holy God. The beauty of the moments with Him and the stark realities of the the darkness beneath.

So, I am going to go to Him now and ask for cleansing. Until that is done, don't jump into any snow piles! There's a blackened iceberg below.

Minnesota in February

I've lived here now 25 years. I am a west coast girl by birth. When we moved from California to Washington, I was introduced to the concept of snow. But in Spokane, the snow would fall and leave several times each winter. Even in the snowiest times, it would be a matter of weeks. None of these months of snow.

Tom is snowblowing for the umpteenth time this winter as I write. He was so kind to offer me the opportunity tonight. I declined. I simply didn't have it in me to push that gas-powered driveway clearer about for him. I didn't want to take the time to done my snowpants, my coat, my scarf, my mittens, my hat in order to clear the driveway of snow...when in the morning, it will be drifted, or snowed upon, or snowplow stacked at the end of the driveway one more time. I did not want to either shower or go to be with the aroma of exhaust on me (though, I will certainly need to comment on the cologne d' unleaded on Tom as his head gratefully hits the pillow tonight.)

So, February 1 marks another 2011 snowfall. No doubt, there will be many more to complain about yet this winter. But tonight, I did not have the gumption to fore go the opportunity to snarl a bit before retiring for the evening. For it does not snow with the promise of a "snow day" for school, or for providing a white Christmas, or to cover up the barrenness of autumn landscape. Now it just piles it on in spite.

Passing Through

Today a person with whom I have served our Lord with for many years, awoke and had her life take a devastating turn. Though I do not know any of the details, I was informed by a tweet from our senior pastor -- technically her boss, but practically her friend and mentor -- that her husband had suffered a heart attack and died this morning.

How to you wake up -- suffer this breath sucking catastrophe. What do you do all day. How to you move, think or be. Much must be required of her. Her daughters need her to be a mother to their loss of their father. But how do you breathe? Arrangements must be made, plans and events ordered. But how do you interact with people.

Lord, I thank you for your presence. Your Holy Spirit that provides for us in times like these. I pray that in these coming days you will empower and direct the events for Vicki. For her daughters, I ask that you will comfort them and help them as they find their fatherless way. May floods of delightful and warm memories wash around and through them. May the reality of your promises of eternity and your presence buoy them as they want to simply sink.

May I live each day in the delight of a future that ends in your everlasting. May I not resent as those mortals that I love, respect or those I care about love and respect face the stark reality that You know the times for us.

I trust you now for the Windfeldts.

Stand to Reason: Raise Children in the Lord

Stand to Reason: Raise Children in the Lord

Releasing my Grip

It is a process -- this letting go. It is a pleasure -- this releasing to fly. It is a problem -- the amount to step away. It is profound -- this relationship with children.

June is almost over. It has required a bit more than I anticipated.

Both my children have captured my attention in a new way over this past month. How naive to have thought that my role in their lives would devolve into one that required of me less, and provided for more me. I find the redefining process quite a test: of my faith, of my reason, of my prayer life, of my emotions. For when either set of brown eyes engage mine -- with a whisp of need, of sadness, of disappointment, of questioning -- it rarely brings me to an easy place. It requires a mental glance into my of source book of experience, and then a surge of pragmatism as to whether to intercede or let the glancer dig deeper to provide their answer to their need. Truth be told, I am hoping there are more times that they get their own trowels out and begin their adventure, but some primal urge to provide for them is always close to the surface.

Our life circumstances have been filled with much ado about Tommy for over a year now. Now, inject the arm break and Laura's transportation issues, her first employment in an office setting, her friendships and transition to home life after 2 years, and with a flourish add the full time employment which is an ever changing canvas of demands, and you have a woman who has waves of anxiety -- because in reality she has taken her eyes off the Provider for spots of time, who calculates and devises paths of success for all she cares about, and spends little time reflecting on the Word, resting in her Lord, and quietly listening for His voice. Now if that is not a recipe for exhaustion, what is?

So, I am attempting to set up some boundaries. I am intentionally injecting the Word, and Prayer journaling, and attempting to engage in meaningful conversation with other pilgrims following Jesus the Nazarene. It will lighten my load. It will recharge my drained cells. It will provide the wisdom for the eye locked questions posed by my young adults.

I know what to do -- if you think of me, please pray that my intentions will become my reality. Indeed, I hope this for you as well, my friends.

So this emptying and refilling of my nest will be covered by His grace. The celebrations will be sweeter, the absences will reflect fonder, and the reunions will be more precious. I am keeping on. Keep on with me, won't you?

Grad Parties

The Southwest Christian High School grad open houses are in full swing.

Thankfully, my son's party is occurring on in but a few days. The entire event is hard on the family dynamic -- pitting me as She Wolf against each of them for not reading my mind, acting promptly on my requests, or seeing the immensity of the task before us. If I don't have an exploded head or have not eliminated the unproductive persons in the family -- it will be nothing short of a miracle.

Truth be told I am somewhat miserable at delegating. Either the person to whom the request is made is not immediately responsive, or my patience in communicating the details that are transforming themselves in my brain, going from fuzzy to crystalized --it always seems to be easier to do it myself than to explain what needs to be done.

So, I have been incrementally purchasing parts of the fare and decorations and planning for many weeks now. I am weary of the process. Why are the last few steps so laborious? What plagues my mind is the concept of the same people attending each others parties, serving similar foods and moving like Monty Python's illustrations. Can you picture the muttering mob moving around the SW suburbs?

I have a few days to finish the preparations... Laura and her classmates and some friends of mine are anticipating Monday's event. It will be a party. It will not stand up to those whose mothers have kept baby books, organized scrapbooks, or digitized all their photos. Drat my random brain. I can only trust that my love has surrounded my children better than my organization of their accomplishments and creation of mementos. Hopefully my being fully present in their lives will take center stage of their memories, and not my inabilities capture them entirely in photos and artistic finery.

Then I can begin a full out grieving of my emptying nest.