Lessons on provision and our faithful God have abounded lately. They do baffle me though. Not the faithfulness of our God, really. He does, indeed, do what He says he will do. Supply our needs. Sustain us when we aren't getting what we think we need. Surprise us with things we couldn't even think of. No, that is par for the course, as they say. He operates that way in our world. Indeed, this week He has again astounded me with his kindness to my children. With how I have been given too much. With the joy of giving. With the joy of seeing His kingdom work accomplished, despite this world's most diligent efforts to be thwarted. God not mocked brings chills down my spine. God's extravagant, and all we need to do is look.
My baffle results from who I am. My life is surrendered. My self-awareness is that I am utterly flawed and constantly asking Him to provide the ability to stay surrendered. Would that I could say utterly surrendered, but no, I am only surrendered. I read a devotional last week had me begging forgiveness again for the "brutal truth" that I often ignore God. How do I do that when He indeed gives exceeding, abundantly more than I can ask and think? How can I just keep asking and not stop to see that which has been given? Why is my gratitude so thin and my requisition so enormous?
Egads, I need to go do some more begging forgiveness again now. What a brutal truth.